Here’s the truth about online dating…not everyone is honest. And I just don’t get it. I have to say it because if I don’t keep it real in writing this online dating blog, readers won’t return. So far so good.
If your goal is really to find your perfect match then you have to be who you are. You have to think like you really think. You have to feel like you normally feel. You have to act like you usually act.
And you have to look like you currently look, right?
If you lie in your online dating profile about your likes and dislikes, you’re hurting yourself and the person you meet. If you lie to yourself and others using photos from many years, many hairs, or many pounds ago, you’re only going to be discovered when you actually meet any potential match in person. In addition, this practice doesn’t make perfect because it often leads to disappointment and added doubts about what other truths you’re not telling.
It sucks when you meet a woman whose profile says she loves to work out but the butt she hauls on your date is wider than the backside of a race track. And for the ladies, it’s a sad moment when you quickly realize it’s “game over” because the new guy you just met who loved the same football team as you, in reality is so friggin old his favorite players wore leather helmets.
What led me to write about this topic right now was not to unload on my personal experiences. Yeah I have plenty and I’ll get to them. The truth of the matter is I just came across a University of Kansas study that I thought was interesting enough to share with you.
“What people lie about depends on what kind of people they are.”
Those are the words of Jeffrey Hall, a Jayhawk researcher and assistant professor of communication studies. He surveyed more than 5,000 men and women in a national Internet matchmaking service. Hall was trying to determine what kinds of singles are most likely to lie during the online dating process. So, he inquired as to how likely they were to lie about personal issues such as wealth, weight, age, relationship goals, past relationships, and more.
The findings of the study were published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. But here are the major online dating news headlines:
Men admitted to lying more overall. Women were most likely to lie about their weight.
Hall found that those who lie on online dating services are people-pleasers who want to present themselves in the most favorable light to get someone to like them He believes the behavior would be the same if these individuals were dating in the traditional manner. Their actions are not necessarily manipulative, Hall said, but rather a more of a reflection on their personal desire to be liked and to fit in.
Whatever the reason behind the baggage and BS, starting a relationship without a foundation of trust is in my opinion a blueprint for a breakup. If you can’t trust in yourself enough to be honest with yourself and just be who you are, you’re probably headed for online dating headaches and heartaches.
Surely, you can do better than that. Surely, you and anyone you meet deserve better than that, too.